Stop Comparing Yourself Already!
Image Credits to Nathan Hussain @analogbynat
We have all heard this saying before. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” And hunny, it’s so true.
We have all been there before. Stalking an ex’s new girlfriend. Wishing we had the body type of an Instagram model. We have all compared ourselves to others and felt horrible after. It is a type of pain that hurts on a new level. It strikes where your heart is weakest the most. A part of you that is fragile and your self-esteem is lower.
I can say from experience that comparison really is a thief of all joy. I have struggled with body image my whole life. As I assume, unfortunately, many of us have as well. All my life, the mirror has been my worst enemy. I can remember my tennis coach saying when I was little, “your first opponent is yourself, the second is the net, and the third is the person across the court.”
Your first opponent is yourself. Yourself.
These words resonate with me now, for I am always my first opponent. My eyes are the first to see my body in the morning. And, the thoughts I feel and experience that split second seeing myself can have the power to affect me for the entire day.
With the invention of social media came the uprising of Instagram models and the downfall of my self-esteem. I wanted nothing more than to look like these Australian models I follow on Instagram. Living their best lives, wearing designer clothing, and hanging with beautiful people. I told myself lies. “They are happier because they are thin.” “ They get to do and experience such amazing things because they are thin.”
I would compare every inch of myself to them. Do you know what the outcome of that situation was every time? Me crying on my floor and telling myself - “Tomorrow, I will go to two OrangeTheory workouts and eat so incredibly healthy. Then I will be one day closer to thin.”
To this day, I am a lot mentally stronger and healthier. However, I still struggle with body image. I did learn a few important lessons.
We were created for a reason, and we are in our bodies for a reason. God created us to look this way because he loves us and wouldn’t change a single feature of our beautiful bodies.
Social media is only 1% of someone’s life. And that 1% is the most desirable & most glamorous part of someone’s life.
Pure happiness comes when you learn to love the body you are in. Focus on your mental and physical health and treat your body with love and respect. Be happy that it is healthy and moves & functions because that is a blessing in itself.
Comparison comes in other forms as well. Not only just comparing our bodies but comparing each other as human beings. I have struggled in the past with seeing the person my ex is dating after me. I won't lie, but my thoughts about this other person are always so cruel. I am incredibly judgemental, and it is only because I am hurt, and I am comparing myself to her. I learned through the many heartbreaks I have endured that you shouldn't ever compare yourself to her and never ask yourself, "what does she have that I don't." This is just self-torture.
So here are my tips.
Mute or block him and all his friends. I, for some strange reason, am a person who does not like blocking people. Especially blocking people that I genuinely think are good, kind people. So, I mute people and their stories to protect my own feelings. “Ignorance is bliss” - What you can’t see won’t have the power to affect your emotions.
Block her. You don't know her, so who cares. (This is the only type of person I don't care if I block). It will do more good than bad if you block her. Trust me when I say this: she only posts 1% of her filtered Instagram happiness, and you don't need to see any of it!
Be happy knowing you are an amazing, beautiful person who will attract the right type of people into your life. Confidence is the most attractive quality in a person. Look forward to your brighter future ahead!
Find the strength in yourself to be happy for them and their new relationship - even though it hurts.
x Tay